Friday, May 14, 2010

and then you break down and you cry

i have certain dubious traits.
I am a great time waster.spent most of my life wasting time, mostly thinking of days gone by and what could have been.
i'm a drinker, and not by American standards, but by the metric European standard.
Studies show that the only people in the world that drink more than the French(no the Irish are a distant third and Germany and Australians trail miserably)are the Luxembourgeois, I could keep up with them.
and yes i can document that
I cry easily. I hear an Edith Piaf song and there are automatically tears in my eyes.
Not really an appealing trait for an American male.
So yesterday I 'm wasting time, having a few beers, okay, more than a few beers, starting to feel it,
great place to waste time and feel psuedo-intellectual at the same time
and i hear this voice
I've had just enough to cloud my memory that little bit
but I recognize the voice
a voice from long ago
a voice I haven't heard in a long long time
and then that sad recognition that its one of my favorites
the one who only puts out a new album every ten years
I spend so much of my life feeling so angry and so frustrated
at myself at the world
every once in a while I have a few glasses of beer
and I hear a song that makes me realize there are things more important than money or cold hard facts or ideology
every so often, perhaps its only every ten years, I hear something that surrounds me and embraces me
and then I break down and I cry
terribly embarrassing thing to happen in public, but for a brief moment I realize I am still human
and think maybe its a good thing Sade only puts out an album every ten years
I can't be caught crying in public more than once every ten years
I have a reputation to maintain.
but i'm still alive

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